respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
