I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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