Umm I'm too high to move.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize