4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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