He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
how does that bad decision feel?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
