OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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