ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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