Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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