I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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