sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Don't make out with my wife yet
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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