on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
