If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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