Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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