She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
