After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
