I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
