Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
