We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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