no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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