You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
