I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
