Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
