I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
