she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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