Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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