Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
