bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
