Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
