He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
