make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
