Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
