I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I need water and some morals
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