what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
