Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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