Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's shark week go big or go home
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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