God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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