I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
