mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
