Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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