I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She told me I should be a condom model.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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