Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
