Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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