census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
