Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
