I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
