Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
