I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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