She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
