I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The uberlube is also flammable
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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