11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
