My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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