You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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