I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
