I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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