Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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