I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
