How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
