He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
