is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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