Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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