Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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