You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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