I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
